


The Moon Finds Her Place in the Sky

by roguefaerie (samidha)



Series: Reconcilliation (Reaper Jessica Moore) [19]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Afterlife, Bisexual Jessica Moore, Bisexuality, Cats, Complete, Dean Does Poly, Dean and Cats, Epilogue, Established Relationship, Flirting, Former Reaper Jessica Moore, Grim Reapers, Jessica Moore Lives, Kitchen Table Poly, Library, Mind Meld, Multi, Non-Monogamy, POV Jessica Moore, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Psychic Abilities, Reaper Politics, Reapers, Soul Bond, The Final Segment, Weirdly Kripked Universe, mediumship, partly, quiet dean, raised from the dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-05-13 01:01:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14739140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samidha/pseuds/roguefaerie
Summary: Jess' story resolution.[This is the last "book" of "Reaper Jess," or "the one with the super poly/non-monogamous mind meld thing." When this book ends, the universe will be complete, although I'm notoriously bad at walking away from things and do almost-daily writing to save my own sanity. Still, when this one's done, the intended plot will be finished.]





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> This is the last "book" of "Reaper Jess," or "the one with the super poly/non-monogamous mind meld thing." When this book ends, the universe will be complete, although I'm notoriously bad at walking away from things and do almost-daily writing to save my own sanity. Still, when this one's done, the intended plot will be finished.

All is quiet in the little house, and the sky is dark. Enough wind plays through the trees to make them gently sway. Jessica looks out the window and into the clouds, eyes searching for but not finding the moon.

She remembers gentle whispers from both of her loves, internal to her and external too, that they hold her like the moon, that they feel her quiet presence like the constancy of a celestial body.

There’s something about having them so close at hand, so _gently there_ that gives her a similar feeling.

A feeling she’s held onto since her death.

But they’ve known since the beginning who Jessica was, and how, like Sam, she had the capacity to want and crave more.

She thinks now of all the times they had gently told her to find her parents--though there was no way they could handle Jessica being risen, Jessica arising, Jessica being a not-zombie, a former Reaper and everything that came with it.

The fact that Jessica could say with certainty that Billie, Castiel, and Tessa, even a bland female reaper named Jessica who had skipped out--that all of these things existed. That she had irrefutable proof.

That she lived in two worlds, even now.

None of these things could fit into her parents’ lives.

Sometimes they barely even fit into Sam and Dean’s.

Something ached inside her, a loneliness that she really had no place feeling--except--

Except that none of this was resolved. Except that in her haste to return to her chosen family she had left her own loose ends dangling.

A tear escapes her eye as she looks out and knows that the moon isn’t even there, not tonight, not for her. Something shifts in her and she knows it’s time, time to confront what she hasn’t since she’s been home, and see her own story through to whatever end is coming to her.

She pads back to bed and slips in between Sam and Dean. They both shift, and Dean wraps an arm around her. The bond is quiet. No nightmares stir for either of them, and she wonders if that means soon she will be alone with her own.


	2. Miriam

Jess’ refuge in the town is the library, a squat wooden building that doesn’t have much to recommend it. Still, when Sam and Dean are having some kind of family moment that doesn’t include her, it’s the first place she thinks of going. She had enjoyed their breakfast spot for a while, and even does on occasion, but the library doesn’t conjure up family memories in the same way, or memories of the priest Sam had gone to for a while, either, and that helps.

They enjoy the quiet of their little town and the ones around it, a place quieter than Lawrence or Souix Falls had ever been. And so Jess feels safe there, especially in the library.

She reads there for hours sometimes on weekends, and no one questions why she doesn’t actually have a library card, not really.

Well, except for Jess, sometimes, maybe.

She uses the library computer, too, though she knows it’s hardly that secure. A few searches every now and then for her parents’ names could never hurt, could they?

Well, except for how they do.

A little.

Enough.

Jess is crossing from a computer kiosk back to a table with a heavy tome. It’s a book of folklore, and she thinks it’ll provide for a good discussion with Sam later that night. Dean will feign disinterest but listen half-heartedly over dinner.

“I see you in here a lot,” someone says, and Jess looks up--or, actually, down. Jess is tall enough to almost rival Sam, in a way, and this person is small, or at least smaller than Jess.

She’s wearing her motorcycle jacket like a second skin and Jess tries not to let anything show on her face when she replies.

“Hi.”

“Hey. Folklore, huh?”

“I like the...yeah.” It’s awkward. What does Jess say, really? It’s a little more complicated than, ‘I like the ghost stories,’ isn’t it?

“I know how it is,” the stranger says.

Jess looks around quickly and the stranger does too, then grins. “Right. Library. Got it.”

Jess is nervous as she settles nearby the stranger. 

“My name is Miriam,” Miriam settles a hand gently on the table. Then she looks up into Jess’ eyes.

“Um. Are you...new in town?” Jess asks, her pulse thudding. She tries to think about whether she’s seen Miriam in town before. She’s striking, but the kind of person who isn’t trying to be noticed, not really.

“Are you newly returned?” Miriam asks, and all the color drains out of Jessica’s face.


	3. The Coffee Shop

They lock eyes for a moment and it’s Miriam who looks away only slightly. “I’m sorry,” she says, “That was…”

 _Big question_ , Jess thinks, without the usual reverberation through three minds. Still, there’s something about this Miriam, there’s something that means she knows things. So what is it?

“I feel these things,” Miriam explains, and Jess’ pulse thuds a few times in her ears. She searches Miriam’s face for signs of some kind of tell. Her training from Sam and Dean, though it was never enough to replace their years of hunting experience, is all flying through her mind now.

She murmurs Latin under her breath, thinking of her and Sam in class together and how he’d soared above the other students.

Nothing happens.

“I’m-- I just sense things. Listen. We could get out of here and you could ask me anything you need to,” Miriam says.

And Jess nods. Despite herself, there’s no way that she can let someone with such a bead on her situation get away right now.

“Coffee?” Jess asks, and her voice is a croak.

Miriam smiles, then laughs a little. “What a way to insinuate myself, huh?

“Not a--I mean--it’s just coffee.”

“Yeah. And whatever you want to ask,” Miriam says, though her eyes linger just a little in a way Jess recognizes.

Careful. Careful.

But there’s a part of Jess that doesn’t want to be hunter-careful. Honestly, she’s never had to live in the shadow of the Winchester life. She’s never been fully indoctrinated into hunting, and she’s missed the open way she lived before she knew the boys--knew exactly who and what the boys were.

But this situation, confronted by a woman who understands her plight, this is something out of the lives of hunters and she’ll have to be--

They walk over to the coffee shop down the street, together but not telegraphing anything, and it’s when Jess realizes they’re both actually working on that that--yeah. She is picking up what this person is putting down. It is not a date but it is a something.

When they’re sitting across from each other with two coffees in hand Miriam lowers her eyes a fraction. “You’re not going to believe this, but…” 

Jess knows she’s going to believe it. There’s no way a stranger could know--

The rest of Miriam’s admission is given directly to the tablecloth. “I’m a medium.” She clears her throat. “I’m not usually embarrassed to say it, but I don’t always meet….” she shrugs, “People in your situation at the local library.”

Jess nods. “I don’t think there are that many people in my situation. In general. Or…. are there?”

“I don’t know. I… I just… found you, I guess. I talk to the other side. It doesn’t mean that I, you know…” Miriam shrugs. “There’s things I don’t know, or understand. But I knew you when I saw you.”

Jessica sighs. “Well. You’re the first. Except my family, I guess.” A weight is slowly lifting off of her even though she knows she should be cautious. “So…. can you tell me what now?”

“I think…” Miriam says, “We...figure that out as we go.”


	4. Building

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a LOT going on this summer but I'm attempting to finish this and Among the Trees this July during Camp Nano. I might get close.
> 
> After about mid-August all bets are off for finishing much this summer but again, I'll try.

Sam notices it first. Of course he would. It’s not a surprise when she feels him gently knocking on the door of her mind as she lets herself back into the house.

_Somebody had a good time._

_Who, me, or you?_

_Hey. I have_ some _amount of boundaries_ , Sam says. But she feels him spelunking as he recognizes her feelings.

“Sure. I know you do,” she says out loud. “But you’re working up some compersion, too, aren’t you?”

“Of course,” Sam says and grins. “Isn’t that how it’s s’posed to be? So tell me about it.”

“It was coffee. Like not intentionally but sort of.”

“Mmhm.”

And then Sam notices the rest, the torrent of feelings that comes tumbling after, as Jess’ hands go to her face and Dean’s pulled in from his shift at the garage.

 _Hey_ , Dean says. _What’s wrong?_

Before a certain point, Sam would never have guessed Dean to be the type to ask that question so directly, but Jess had brought that type of thing out in Dean. Or maybe allowed Sam to see it better.

 _Nothing_ , Jess says. _Listen, it’s, it was just a lot. Dean, I know you’re heading out to Rufus tomorrow and I don’t want to--_

_Oh, no. No way. It can wait til I get home, but that’s it._

_Boundaries?_ , Jess asks.

There’s an audible sigh from Dean. _Fine. Yeah. We can talk about it when you’re ready. Hey. I’m sorry._

_It’s not like that. You don’t have to be sorry. It’s just… I don’t even know which way is up, yet. Calm yourselves, boys._

Bemusedly, they both acquiesce.

*~*~*

Sam keeps a close eye on Jess while Dean is on the regular road trip to get hormones. Not a close physical eye, but she knows he’s bracing himself, and maybe her.

Miriam is in the library every day that week, and when they have time they walk over to the coffee shop. Jess knows that on an energetic level they are mingling, their fields close together. And Miriam seems to guess so much of what Jess is feeling that--

“You aren’t… It’s not like with my boys, is it?” Jess asks her, finally, when it feels like time.

“No. No, I would never intrude on that. It’s just, Jess… you’re still shining.”

And Jess imagines that seems about right.

She wonders if she should worry about when she stops.

“Everybody shines,” Miriam says. “It’s a matter of degrees. I guess...if you die and come back, maybe it’s just a little louder, brighter.”

Jess sighs. She wants to ask Miriam...what the hell now? But that hasn’t worked so far, and it probably won’t now.

Jess holds in what she’d like to say, and Miriam doesn’t press her.

At least not for a couple of days.

Then suddenly Jess feels the weight, like she’s sunk a layer deeper, or closer to the ground, and Miriam says, “Jess. What about your parents?”

Part of Jess wants to run home. Part of her wants to hug Miriam and never let go. A third part realizes how far she’s fallen, and how fast.

She reaches for Sam instinctively, and he reaches back, clasping her hand for a second.

Safe.

Just like Dean.

Her family is safe. They may not understand everything, but they’re safe for her, and if they think….

Well, it’s not entirely clear what Dean thinks, or rather, he’s quiet about it, which could mean any number of things. But if Sam’s on board…

Jess sighs. “Listen, I don’t know.”

“You’ll have to figure it out soon.”

“I was...I almost wanted to ask you. I know it’s too big to ask. It’s just. Sometimes I feel like I’ve got one foot on the other side, still, and I’m learning how to do all this human stuff.”

“I know. Me too.”

“You too?”

“How do you think I could see you, Jess?” Miriam asks.

She’s got a point.


	5. Finding People, Learning Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Camp Nano remains fun. So this is day 3. If I actually engage with it most of the days I should get this finished fairly soon, and maybe also Among the Trees. We shall see. So far I am on track. (Working here because Among the Trees is percolating right now.)
> 
> Bear with me here, as nothing horrible is going to happen to any of these characters. :)

Jess and Miriam are sitting together in the library a few days later when Jess sighs and moves over to the computers. Miriam knows exactly where Jess is going, and why. They’re sitting close together, knees slightly touching, as Jess finally does the Internet search she’s needed to do this whole time.

She finds them, her parents, just a few clicks in. They’ve moved from Northern California to Seattle, though she can imagine it was more to get away from the memories of her death than any desire to be in perpetual, misty rain.

“Of course it was,” Miriam says. “It must have been devastating.”

“But I’m here, Miriam. Isn’t that supposed to...not happen?”

Miriam leans in a little closer and Jess lets her squeeze her hand. “But it did happen.”

“It did happen,” Jessica says. “And now I found them. But...I don’t….I don’t think there’s anything that I can do. I never have. And the boys didn’t...either. Didn’t find them, didn’t tell them. They… They’re just grieving.”

Miriam sighs. “Listen. If you want my opinion, this _isn’t_ common. And you and the boys, you did what you thought needed to happen. You had a lot going on. A lot to be preoccupied with.”

“My Mom would flip right out. My dad would...well, who knows. But I don’t want to hurt them.”

“Of course you don’t,” Miriam says, not a shred of irony in her voice. “I understand.”

“I...miss them sometimes but it just doesn’t seem…”

“Hey. How can I actually help?” Miriam asks.

“You are helping.”

“Can I…?”

Jess leans back and Miriam takes some of her weight, getting an arm around her and supporting her firmly.

Jess closes her eyes and leans into the touch.


	6. Family Matters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience. I've been really, really sick but I'm feeling better now and the ending poured out of me super fast. Everything that I intended is here now, and I know it may seem a little bit rushed, but I have been willing this to be finished since last September. This is the official end of the 'verse, and I hope you enjoyed the ride. As you might be able to see there's room for expansion and I can't promise I'll never come back to this world. :)

Dean isn’t thrilled. It’s the first time since any of this began that Jess puts up any kind of wall against Dean.

Sam...Sam is of course a little bit more seasoned at all of this, only a few years more but it’s enough.

“She needs her time,” Sam reminds him, out loud. _And we need ours. Sometimes_ , he adds. 

Dean nods, looking irritated but letting it pass over while taking a swig of beer.

*~*~*

They’re unsure at first, but in the end they’ll deny Jess nothing. Especially not now, when they know she’s moved heaven and earth numerous times for them.

It pricks Dean’s heart a little, but Sam takes Dean’s hand when he feels something like that coming on and Dean breathes, breathes, breathes.

Jess kisses Dean and says softly, “I’ve got something for you. You’ll know it when you see it. We’re all right. Right?”

Dean nods, slow and measured. It’s easy to feel the important things, like the quiet filling of a void Dean hadn’t realized was in Jess’ heart. Once it’s spotted, Dean remembers what it’s likely from--Jess’ time at Stanford, and the way her heart had shattered, leaving her to cling to Sam on a dorm room bed.

It’s a kick in Dean’s gut to remember that any other woman had hurt Jess, even once.

 _Bring her home_ , Dean says, even before Sam pipes up. _I’ll make dinner._

Both are true to their word. Miriam and Jess come home and scarf down a simple family dinner, and five days later Jess brings home a black kitten and presents it to Dean. _You name her, love. She’s yours._

Dean blinks. Is Jess going that far? But the kitten is perfect, melting into Dean’s arms immediately.

Jess always knows.

*~*~*

Miriam folds into their lives. She knows intuitively when to come and go, and they feel each other slipping into just the right shape to work together as a family, with mutual respect and boundaries.

*~*~*

The cat’s name is Minerva. Dean keeps her close when he’s at home, especially if Jess or Sam aren’t. It’s enjoyable for Dean to spoil the cat.

*~*~*

Jess knows, too, that Dean needs as much attention as she can still give, and nothing changes about their quiet connection. If anything, they are able to feel even more as Jess lets Dean feel her wounds and how they are healing.

 _I want you to get what you need_ , Dean whispers to her.

_I am. I really am. You and Sam, you’re always what I need. But…_

_But more. It’s okay. It’s all right. I know._

Because Dean does. Slow realization dawns that their circumstances were made for this.

Dean lets go, and the smile that blooms in place of confusion is bright enough to light up the room.

And it lasts and lasts, through the rush of relief from Jess, then Sam, and the next family dinner with Miriam, and cuddles with the cat, and with Sam.

It’s a smile that feels like it can outlast everything.

*~*~*

There’s no emotional reunion with Jess’ parents. No letters or postcards go to them in her handwriting. But they do keep a low level bead on the Moore family, and they drive close enough to the town the couple has settled in to keep regular track of whether their would-be in-laws are alright. They all travel together, hiring a cat sitter for Minerva so that Miriam can come too and they huddle around Jess and let her feel any feelings she needs to whenever they arise.

It’s the least they can do. The very least.

On Jessica’s birthday, Sam thinks about sending flowers but it’s honestly simpler for all involved for the Winchesters to fade from Jess’ parents memories as Sam had always been so good at doing during school.

Jess knows where her family is and how to protect both branches if it’s ever needed.

*~*~*

Out in the field in town, Jess stands and asks one final question of the realm that was briefly her home.

“Castiel, do I tell him? How much do I tell him?”

A feather falls softly to earth at her feet and she hears. _In time. Perhaps. Perhaps not at all. You know Dean, and it takes time for him to accept these things._

Jess feels the familiar cradle of Castiel’s energy and nods.

She does. She does know.

 _I do_ , she says, and, lost in her own separate thoughts she walks home slowly the way she came, alone, to rejoin her family right where she belongs.


End file.
